Do you ever get that feeling that this is most definitely not where you are suppose to be. I mean maybe in the moment you are, but not for long. Like this is just one step you have to take to get to where you want to be. Today my feeling of 'this is not where I'm to be' is very strong. I want to go somewhere and do something that makes me feel like I'm actually doing something that matters.
My dad and step-mom support a child through Compassion and they receive magazines from them monthly I think. Well the other day I was reading an article in that magazine. A reporter was interviewing some moms in different parts of the world and the topic of discussion was food. What do these women feed their family's, their children, when they literally have nothing? The answers broke my heart. A mom from South Africa said she feeds her children water with salt mixed in it. She says the salt at least makes them feel like they are eating something. A mother in Haiti said she feeds her children "mud cookies". This is a mixture of water, dirt, sometimes salt and oil. It all depends on what they can afford at the point in time. Can you imagine having to feed your children that? These stories break me. I don't know about you, but I especially feel a tug, a tug in my heart, that this is what I'm suppose to be doing. That I should be helping to feed those families and to hold the babies who have been left behind by their moms and dads. To play with the kids who don't have a chance to be a kid because they're too busy working so they can help bring in a little money for their families. Or maybe they are expected to take on the role of a mom or a dad because parents have left them or maybe because they have passed on.
Maybe it sounds silly. But these thoughts are always in the back of my head. I know I need to be patient. I need to wait till I'm not 30 thousand dollars in debt. I need to wait until I am out of college. I need to wait. There is no way I could go and do any of that at this moment. Not yet.
"I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love." -Mother Teresa
...sorry for my little rant...but thanks for listening :)